I’ve got the sharpest teeth, so I get the biggest bag of crunchies

And this 70-year-old check-out clerk and his 10-year-old manager are hemming and hawing over the ditzy bitch who only has $40, instead of $55.

What do I throw out? The two largest and most easily accessible things.

The cat food, and the cat litter.

That might work for Shannon, but around here, that’s not the way it’s done: we tend to think that whoever has the sharpest teeth and the least compunction about what makes a suitable toilet gets top priority at the grocery store. Fair or not, I’ve learned not to make nocturnal enemies.


Comment by Shannon #
2002-03-21 00:35:03

Oh man, it really *is* Shannon Campbell week, isn’t it?

I feel intense pressure to be witty and personable now.

You’d better break out the booze, Phil. If I have to be cool, than I’m going to have to be drunk to do it. Or at least, everyone else is.

Comment by Shannon #
2002-03-21 00:36:47

I swear I’m not stalking your blog, but honestly, everyone on the fucking web links back to you, did you know that? You’re unescapable, and every time I see your name I just have to click.

Comment by Phil Ringnalda #
2002-03-21 00:48:57

That makes two people who’ve gotten performance anxiety from me (fair enough, I say). Doesn’t anybody look at the date headers around here? I missed actually posting something five days in a row by 25 minutes (got distracted while looking for the lyrics to Revolution Rock), which would have been the first time since I don’t know when. So I’m cheating, and moving this post back to Wednesday, so I can manage one post per day. Pretty low publishing-pressure around here.

Everyone links to me? You’re kidding, right? Must have been too long since I did any ego-surfing. High time.

Comment by ruzz #
2002-03-21 02:42:40

its true. Phil is pretty entrenched.

nocturnal enemies. man. That hurt!

Comment by Phil Ringnalda #
2002-03-21 07:22:57

Hey, you forget to buy cat food, those fingers and toes start looking pretty tasty…

Comment by Shannon #
2002-03-21 09:04:06

You cheater! Hell yes, I noticed. People are depending on you, Phil.

Every time you don’t update your blog for a week, God kills a kitten (and three ants, a housefly, and a few random microbes that got in the way).

Think about the kittens, Phil.

Comment by pixelkitty #
2002-03-21 18:45:26


Comment by Phil Ringnalda #
2002-03-21 20:10:26

From what I hear, the kittens have more to worry about than just how often I post.

Comment by Shannon #
2002-03-22 01:23:29

And I’m assuming you’re hearing that because maybe your sight is .. eh, failing? Might that have anything to do with the kittens?

Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
Your Comment (smaller size | larger size)
You may use <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <del datetime="" cite=""> <dd> <dl> <dt> <em> <i> <ins datetime="" cite=""> <kbd> <li> <ol> <p> <pre> <q cite=""> <samp> <strong> <sub> <sup> <ul> in your comment.